This may come as a major shock to you, but a lot of celebrities don’t use their real names. Recovered? Us neither. The last bastion of culture we as a race can exult in is built on a throne of lies. These celebs have been kicking back in their mansions laughing all the way to the bank as we peasants merely aspire to procreate so we can bear a child with a mononymous name who can one day reach the dizzying heights of fame like these fantastic creatures. That’s the universal dream, right? What separates us from the animals, forget that opposable thumb malarkey – wanting a famous child we can live off, that’s the stuff of dreams.
So take inspiration from some of the biggest names in pop culture who have built their careers and notoriety off their calculated web of lies.